This story is about a gift and an invitation

…an invitation to something beautiful. It’s an invitation to call out the best in us, restore us, heal us, and awaken hope in one of the most beautiful ways—through the journey of lament. This song by Sara Groves helps put our journey into words: “we come with beautiful secrets / we come with purposes written on our hearts / written on our souls / redemption comes in strange places / small spaces / calling out the best of who we are” (Add to the Beauty).

We were given a gift on Sept 18, 2012. Becoming pregnant wasn’t easy for us and we cherished our two daughters, but our hearts wondered and dared to believe… Could there be a boy? “Ask.” The gentle voice of Jesus spoke to Nate’s heart. “I know you love your daughters, but I also know your deep desire. Ask me for a son.” With tears, Nate knelt before the Father. It was a simple request, but the risk felt so great. “Will—you—give—us—a son?”

 

Two months later

…the pregnancy test said “yes”. The ultrasound weeks later confirmed—what we thought would never be, what we dared to believe—two girls and a boy!

With joy in our hearts, we opened this gift of a son. On April 18, 2016, we discovered this package came with a beautiful invitation. It was not a letter, an evite, or a text message. It was a face-to-face invitation to go on a journey. A journey that would be full of deep sorrow, yet amazing joy. Suffering yet beauty. Lament yet hope.

In a doctor’s office at Children’s Hospital that day, Jesus met us as tears streamed down our faces. He was tender and kind reassuring us with his care as we began to learn about the road before us. The only context we had of Muscular Dystrophy was the work of Jerry Lewis. His telethons would come across the TV every year. He would interview beautiful children that navigated life in a wheelchair. Those stories would offer hope, awareness, and the opportunity to contribute financially to those living with neuromuscular disease. As those images came back to our mind, we began to process that this reality has become our reality. It would be our beautiful son that would “add to the beauty” and “tell a better story” of hope.

 

Moment by moment, month by month, year by year

…we question, grieve, lament—and are learning to live in the beautiful space of God’s “refining” and “redefining”. He’s redefining beauty, redefining weakness, redefining healing, redefining ability, redefining grief, redefining motherhood, redefining fatherhood.

Some days we embrace this space. Some days we can’t make sense of this great sorrow and tears are our only voice. Jesus continues to confirm that lament unlocks the door to hope.